How I Wished I Was Here
I know that this post is basically just going to be filled with a bunch of platitudes. But it’s how I honestly feel and think right now. So I’m going to post it anyway.
In times where I am feeling down because I feel like my progress in life isn’t going how I planned, or I feel like I’ve made a wrong turn, I try to remind myself to be grateful for where I am now.
I try to remember that, not too long ago, I wanted so much to be where I currently am. To be able to switch into a field I was fascinated in but had no prior experience (and, quite frankly, little demonstrable skill) in. To be on a path where I felt could lead to a successful career. Heck, to even just be able to have that confidence to commit and start walking down a path (second degree in hand or not). How I wished I was here. When I think back to where I once was, and what I have overcome and accomplished since then, I can’t help but calm down a little.
Being a second degree student, I have taken my education and career much more seriously. Since switching, I have been fortunate enough to have seemingly enjoyed every single class and topic I have encountered. I tell myself that this is because I have finally found a field that I’m genuinely interested in. But sometimes, I do think it’s just because I’m older and more serious about my life. And also because I’ve seen the alternative.
Graduating with a life science degree and staring into the abyss that is a potential dead-end career as a lab technician (lest graduate school is considered, and even then, a good career isn’t guaranteed) really lights a fire under your ass.
I imagine similar “less employable” majors that don’t graduate with a concrete skillset go through a similar crisis after graduation if they realize they aren’t part of the absurdly small percentage (what is it, like 10%?) that actually want to go into their field. And having that perspective is very motivating. But it can also be demoralizing and excessively stressful.
It’s crazy how fickle human emotions are. One moment, you can be confident and sure of yourself; the next, you can be in the depths of despair, certain that your life has been inevitably screwed up.
When I find my thinking approaching this line of thought again, I like to remind myself of this picture that I came across (not 100% sure if this belongs to Tim Urban, but I can’t seem to find another original source, so I’ll just link it to his share on Twitter, which is where I originall saw it):
I try to remember that there is more than one path to get to where we want to go. And, more importantly, that there are still so many other paths we can take. And most importantly, that no matter what ANYBODY says, there is no one right path to take. Nobody really knows what they’re doing, or what you should do. They can only speak from experience, and what’s worked for them and others. But at the end of the day, all these paths are just that. Paths. Potential directions we can take our lives. And whether something is the right path (or even just a good path), is subject to the person on that path itself. After all, we’re the ones assigning colour to them in the first place.
And I try to remember not to feel too bad about any decisions I made that I regret. Because most of the time, those decisions were made because at that time, in that context, they seemed like the best possible choice that could be made.
So I think, it’s good to focus your eyes forward, but every now and then, it’s okay to look back. And regardless of any regrets you feel, you should try and be proud of where you are now, the effort you’ve put in, and the journey you’ve been on so far.